Saturday

Christian Gay.

     I don’t know what else I would say, life has been hard on me. I wouldn’t know about other people but as for me, I wouldn’t wish anyone else my fate. Not that I’ve lost people, friends or associates in my life but it’s coz I was cursed! It must have taken place way before I was born into this world, a preset conspiracy to rid me of all normalcy. The devil so to speak! At least that is according to our parish pastor down at our church. ‘Little devils walking among us!’ ‘’Fruits of sexual perversion crawling up our society’ you’d think he was talking of the proverbial ‘snake’ crawling up his perfectly manicured garden of Eden.
      There was no other clearer explanation or definition of what I was, and not in a mysterious enviable way like Superman but in a more vile, sly and devilish way like the antichrist himself. I have always awaited the day I wouldn’t be able to walk into church, as the much publicized devil-walking-among-us. Why wouldn’t they accept me? Why was I cursed to such a predicament? Why am I so wrong? One thing I knew for sure is that I wasn’t welcomed at my own home or the planet for that matter.
      It was a lonely existence, always lost in my thoughts….Thinking of what could have been and what must have happened. Hence no-one could blame me for what I turned out to be. After all look what happened to Jesse, even after being faithful for that long. Even in the bible they would kill such people with such flaws within them. There and then I knew that things like love and companionship were a distant dream for my kind. There was no compassion applied to him no level of humanity, he was dragged around like an animal, even felons get a fair trial. It was the thought that hurt most, the thought that none of this could be comprehended by people around.
      I wasn’t welcomed at all, I had to go. So as I await my next counting my hefty cut from my earlier shift I recount my past decision and wondered why I thought it so heavily. 
      “They must have been fools to think that way…,” I sneered, “they should see how the city works, what assortment of people I service.”
I was now well versed on the ways and life of the big city. Months of ‘working the streets’ scraping for a livelihood has been truly informative. If only my folk knew how well I’m doing right now, how well I’m living. This was more than my dream! They all adored me, the aged men came to me for satisfaction. I was their secret pleasure pill, in a world in which they hide their true identity. I was a god to them now, a far cry from the devil I was destined to be back home.
     I should have put this in the goodbye letter I left my parents.
‘Good riddance!’ It should have started out followed by a proper in-depth critiquing of the society they had so loved and worked so hard to build.

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