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Thursday

Old Gay Men Coming Out...

I have been meaning to write on this topic for a while now. This was
inspired by events I have observed fast becoming a reality all over the globe, the whole variety of coming out of the closet. I was busy advertising Gay Men Magazines, part of playing my role to inform and upgrade my many
readers and The Gay Man in general. Because we have seen how much he
has been subject to ridicule, misinformation and foul play from his
peers and general public.
Age is one of the most loathed reality by the Gay man. So evident
by the fact that many of us kill ourselves trying to achieve that
young build. All those hours in the gym paying off. Whereas majority
of Gays are considered young and troubled, there is a whole new breed,
if I may, of old generation Gay men. Not that they grew old in a Gay
man fashion, enjoying the perks that come along with such a life; but
they come out in their old, ripe age.
Coming Out for the Gay Man as publicised in the many Gay Men
Magazines, exposing the Gay lifestyle all over the globe, has a
variety of ways in which it occurs. There are some who gracefully come
out to friends and family;these ones get support and understanding
from their folks, they are lucky and for purposes of this article they
will be our control sample. There are those who are caught in
compromising positions and to their dismay, they are dismissed as
biological mistakes no matter how much they are willing to integrate.
Also just like the above some come out to their folks and don't get
the comforting reception as our control, this sadly leads in a path
not so far from the second scenario. After that short recap, you can
now tell Coming out Too Late, is no where in the headlines.
COMING OUT TOO LATE is an actual thing. A reality many have to
live with! Yes it happens and as much as we wanna deny it, it does
happen! It's time the message got out too, it's time people got to
know of the situation that is on the ground. The relevant humanitarian
groups should address such. It causes a lot of trauma for the
individual in question.
Gay men in their 40s, 50s and some in their 60s one day coming
out of the closet and declaring that they have been Gay all along.
Surprising their families and friends and most of all their lady
spouses. I pity the lady here most, because you can imagine the kind
of heart break she'll go through. She was of the thought that they
were happily in love having made a home and kids for themselves;all
for it all to be declared a mirage, publicly! The Gay Man coming out
now starts off into a new life too late and so not prepared for the
experience.
Coming Out Too late causes the Gay man lots of personal
problems, and no one would like an old Gay guy going through a delayed
mid life crisis. The aged Gay Man has no option but to start stalking
the obviously vivacious young boys joining the scene for the first
time just like he is. Talk about starting from the bottom. The worst
part is the toll this deal on the man's reputation and ego. Here is a
man who has been developing his own image for decades and now has to
break it down and grow another from the bottom.
Why would an aged man come out as Gay that late in life? Why
would he destroy everything he has worked for? What would inspire such
a change of heart? Turn from his loving wife? Turn from his family?
The most major reason as told by the victims is that they
are tired of the lying and faking. It may be a surprise for many but
it is reality, where Gay men fall for society's expectations and end
up marrying and leading a straight life. An simple succession of
actions gets a man from Gay and in the closet to happily straight and
in love. In such societies, The Gay Man never has the chance to
explore his sexuality early in life. So when they come of age they get
an already per-determined destiny, to get a wife and settle down. The
kind of audacity that catapults them to come out later in life is non
existent at this young age, besides you never know the cost till you
start paying.
Most of them have surprisingly stayed faithful to their
spouses all this while. In matters bedroom all it takes is a routine
trip of the brain to areas more preferred, and all is OK. But it gets
to a time that the mask has to come off! A time the heart has to have
its way, so to speak. This goes a long way to proof that no matter how
much one runs, the heart will always catch up to you.
African countries have the most occurrence of such and also
countries considered homophobic, countries where the Gay Man has been
persecuted and marginalized due to his sexuality. Muslim countries are
notorious for this and countries that uphold traditions that negate
Gay Love.
My personal advice to such is to be courageous enough to be themselves. Honesty to people around you is important but to yourself it is priceless.