I so love the holidays! Especially Xmas! It is all bout family, after
all, almost instinctively. Cousins, aunts and the relatives you keep
off from seeing for a long time. The house visits, with every lady
being vigilant not to miss her chance to feed the family on a Xmas as
they show off their palatial houses and year's progress.
The family feuds that arise in such gatherings and the willingness
of all to suppress them till after the celebrations is so bewildering
in the least. That is the love afforded to this holiday. Like a spell
over all, a spell that diminishes all volatility and insists on love
and acceptance. This is the right combination that I needed when I
break out my news! Or as its said 'come out of the closet.' I was sure
I would need some kind of mystical aid to, if anything, blunt the
intensity of their reaction.
Will it be at the dinner table? Or outside on the porch? On the
D-day? Or after? Or over the barbecue? with everyone seated, well fed
having forgotten all life challenges and sibling-rivalry. I stood up
just after everyone had had a fair share of their meal. I was sure not
to have sat next to my eldest uncle, a bitter man, who never lacked
words to critic everything around him.
My mum was within direct sight, needed to see her reaction when I
openly display her failure in 'finding me a beautiful suitor' and
maintaining the family image, so to speak! I didn't really care for
dad, ever since I preferred dance-class to sports, something inside
him broke and shattered! Maybe he had accepted my fate, and found it
too painful to think of me alive,so he resulted in looking past me.
Didn't really mind how my cousins would take it after this. The
ladies am sure would be glad to have and include me in their lives, I
was comfortable to be their 'Gay cousin' and attend aaaaall their
girly events, welcome boyfriend. The gents on the other hand, I had
nothing much to say, no heart for them. But granny.... she I minded!
Her always open heart, welcoming nature, and lovable cheery smile. Of
all my relations, I valued her most. I minded her thoughts of my big
announcement;especially after I fore went telling her first, and for
that I ensured I was closest to her at the table. To at least comfort
her or revive her if she got a heart attack or something! It was time
for me to man up n be sincere as she always advised me.
I can't believe how much strength I had to put in the bang on the
table, just to get some attention. I personally think this family is
too straight for its own good! Now I had a splitting arm ache that was
doing its best to reduce the effect of the quatre litter of Whisky I
had just finished. Leave alone the extra hour of manicure I'll ave go
put in tonight! As everyone gazed at me, I felt tingly, and a chuckle
escaped me. I knew too well this was the tym for me to sweat and
blubber! Not this time though. Lemme take this opportunity, that they
so often gve me whenever I stood to speak, an unusual silence afforded
to only me. The only gift I am given in any gathering!
There and then I wished I had a camera to record the
anticipating faces before me. My memory would have to do it this time!
Their eyes so anticipating my divulging the mystery that is me! A
reason to justify their ridicule on me, and why not? Let them have it!
Let the worse be worst; and so it went......
...... .n so I stood there, in utter silence. Settled, un shaken,
anticipating. For once I wished for the ridicules and sarcasm flying
all over the room.
Why wouldn't they speak? Why the silence? I was astonished, I expected
a little more grimance, at least a little uproar, even a familiar
gay-bashing would be ok.
Why wouldn't they speak? Why are they staring? Did I imagine my
speech? Or was I mute?
"Finally! Now can we get to the desert!......" broke the silence
from the furthest end of the table, and a smile cracked their
faces..........
all, almost instinctively. Cousins, aunts and the relatives you keep
off from seeing for a long time. The house visits, with every lady
being vigilant not to miss her chance to feed the family on a Xmas as
they show off their palatial houses and year's progress.
The family feuds that arise in such gatherings and the willingness
of all to suppress them till after the celebrations is so bewildering
in the least. That is the love afforded to this holiday. Like a spell
over all, a spell that diminishes all volatility and insists on love
and acceptance. This is the right combination that I needed when I
break out my news! Or as its said 'come out of the closet.' I was sure
I would need some kind of mystical aid to, if anything, blunt the
intensity of their reaction.
Will it be at the dinner table? Or outside on the porch? On the
D-day? Or after? Or over the barbecue? with everyone seated, well fed
having forgotten all life challenges and sibling-rivalry. I stood up
just after everyone had had a fair share of their meal. I was sure not
to have sat next to my eldest uncle, a bitter man, who never lacked
words to critic everything around him.
My mum was within direct sight, needed to see her reaction when I
openly display her failure in 'finding me a beautiful suitor' and
maintaining the family image, so to speak! I didn't really care for
dad, ever since I preferred dance-class to sports, something inside
him broke and shattered! Maybe he had accepted my fate, and found it
too painful to think of me alive,so he resulted in looking past me.
Didn't really mind how my cousins would take it after this. The
ladies am sure would be glad to have and include me in their lives, I
was comfortable to be their 'Gay cousin' and attend aaaaall their
girly events, welcome boyfriend. The gents on the other hand, I had
nothing much to say, no heart for them. But granny.... she I minded!
Her always open heart, welcoming nature, and lovable cheery smile. Of
all my relations, I valued her most. I minded her thoughts of my big
announcement;especially after I fore went telling her first, and for
that I ensured I was closest to her at the table. To at least comfort
her or revive her if she got a heart attack or something! It was time
for me to man up n be sincere as she always advised me.
I can't believe how much strength I had to put in the bang on the
table, just to get some attention. I personally think this family is
too straight for its own good! Now I had a splitting arm ache that was
doing its best to reduce the effect of the quatre litter of Whisky I
had just finished. Leave alone the extra hour of manicure I'll ave go
put in tonight! As everyone gazed at me, I felt tingly, and a chuckle
escaped me. I knew too well this was the tym for me to sweat and
blubber! Not this time though. Lemme take this opportunity, that they
so often gve me whenever I stood to speak, an unusual silence afforded
to only me. The only gift I am given in any gathering!
There and then I wished I had a camera to record the
anticipating faces before me. My memory would have to do it this time!
Their eyes so anticipating my divulging the mystery that is me! A
reason to justify their ridicule on me, and why not? Let them have it!
Let the worse be worst; and so it went......
...... .n so I stood there, in utter silence. Settled, un shaken,
anticipating. For once I wished for the ridicules and sarcasm flying
all over the room.
Why wouldn't they speak? Why the silence? I was astonished, I expected
a little more grimance, at least a little uproar, even a familiar
gay-bashing would be ok.
Why wouldn't they speak? Why are they staring? Did I imagine my
speech? Or was I mute?
"Finally! Now can we get to the desert!......" broke the silence
from the furthest end of the table, and a smile cracked their
faces..........
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